Rants and Raves

'Twas the night after Thanksgiving, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

The plates were all dirty, the cupboards all bare,

The fridge was all stuffed with leftovers in there;

My son was all nestled all snug in his bed,

While visions of tinker toys danced in his head;

And I in my worksuit, scarf and fine hat,

Had just settled down for a vodka nightcap,

When out from the workshop there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.

Away through the Hedgegate I flew like a flash,

Opened the door wide and kicked aside all the trash.

My Hedgebeast was running and jumping to and fro

To signal the completion of my weapons down below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a Hedgespun sleigh, and eight steam-powered reindeer,

The weapons were primed and the missiles were quick,

"Well, that will finally do in that bastard St. Nick!

I have cold iron stocked and nitro boosts steady

With my night vision goggles I'll not be caught unready!

Now, Basher! now, Lancer! now, Taser and Mixen!

Now, Kermit! Now Ares! Now, Flamer and Twitchin'!"

I hopped in the sleigh and turned the key hard,

And rose high from my workshop, leaving the ground charred.

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

So up to the Hedge-top the robo-reindeer flew,

With a sleigh full of high-grade explosives, and rocket or two.

And then, with a roar, I heard in the night

A pack of Briarwolves, their eyes burning bright.

I drew up my reins, and turned myself 'round,

And pointed my weapons at the bastards on the ground.

There were rockets and rifles for hitting long distance,

And napalm and flamethrowers to ignite me some bitches;

I let loose my payload, tinsel sparkling in the sky,

And blew those poor briarwolves high up into the sky.

My eyes -- how they twinkled! My dimples how merry!

My cheeks were a sparklin', and I ate a hedge-berry!

"These weapons may seem abit much, but they just don't know,

How much I would give to see Santa's guts all over the snow;

His horrific reign of terror finally brought to an end,

And children everywhere can celebrate without fear once again!

And when he is gone," as I rub my hands in the napalm light,

"Then I can do his job, much to the childrens delight,

I can make all the best toys like a right jolly young elf."

And I laughed when I thought of it, in spite of myself;

"A dolly for Susan, and a Nerf gun for Fred,

Soon all will know they have nothing to dread!

A Teleporter for Holly, and a new yacht for Bandy,

While Edria gets a new dress that's just dandy!"

And laying my hands on the reigns nice and tight,

And giving a nod, I flew deep into the night;

The Hobs they all stared in wonder and gave whistles,

As I flew high above them, above Briar and Thistles.

And they all heard me exclaim, as I drove out of sight,

"You're time's up fat bastard, and soon it'll be Toil's night!"

Last game was interesting for me, I didn't have as much to do yet I had far too much to do.

Pros -

. Torture scene was good RP. Everyone seemed to get something out of it, I was able to hit the hot buttons of several of my players and make them stop and pause everything to consider what I had to say.
. Klutz and JJ were able to handle things well enough for me with clear instructions. No issues, no requiring my attentions.
. Everyone outside of the torture room seemed to enjoy themselves and had good RP. It was apparently rather intense when they were stuck trying desperately to figure out what was wrong with the 3 sleepers to the point that 2 other people started yelling and crying in frustration.
. Blenders with plastic spoons are your friends massive bone breaking. Also, plastic spoon in general are good for bones snapping.
. Props in general were pretty fantastic this time, I hope to do more in the future. I think they help the players bring a touch of realism to the scenes.
. Only had 1 mild panic attack, and that was at the beginning when the chains were a little too tight on the arms of one player!

Cons -

. I should have double-gloved my left hand, the creepy hand sadly broke far earlier than I had hoped it would.
. JJ STILL needs to learn how to mediate combat scenes better, that will save a LOT of time.
. JJ and Klutz need to focus more on some responsibilities. I was waiting a good while for them to tell me the combat was wrapped up so I could keep going, and it had been over for a while before I was told it was done. That wasted time and made me sadly have to speed things up.
. I need to speak up more for audio files! I speak low on recordings and need to speak up to be better heard.
. I needed my voice changer from G for the Gentry voice...but he was at school. Damn you higher education!
. I had to pause too many times in there to try and check up on JJ, or respond to Lana on things and that broke up my flow. I need to figure out a better system for that if I ever wish to try it again.

Things to do for next time -

. I need to cut down on the downtime in Game with mechanics. I rather enjoyed the players just NOT making pulls with me in the back room, and me telling them what they felt. I'm considering down something of what Sanford does next game (though it'll totally be eating up one of my off-days and the girl may get mad...) with taking major events and scenes that I know I have planned, rolling out the challenges ahead of time and handing them to the player son slips of paper or in an envelope.
. Props! They were fantastic in the back room, I need to work on them for more games. Definitely the ritual Games for sure, past that I wanna try and include more and more. They helped me be in character as the villains, and I think it helped the players to be in character as well.
. I'd like to experiment with other locations for Game. Maybe do a Changeling iLarp on Hontoon to represent the Hedge, or go visit a farmers market or other popular street vendor place for an exotic goblin market in town. I think the changes of pace would be a delight to the players.
. Hailey's Fake blood is needed more....because I love how it tastes. And, it does feel like damned close t the real thing. My own experiment with making fake blood this week was either too watery or too thick.
. More people need to pet the ST.

Anson the Elder,

Good evening sir! I hope you're doing well!!

I hope you don't mind me interrupting, but I just saw one of the most interesting comments I've EVER had the pleasure of viewing on this most splendid and sacred of internet forums. The moment I read this, I knew without a doubt that my valuable and highly important opinion was needed right away! I'm so thankful the my Google filter for the words "Guardian", "Gay", and "Secrets" seems to be working so well and bring this to my attention. It's not as if I wasn't enjoying the company of two fine Nubian gentleman I purchased for the evening. Oh no.

"Also, I think the Guardians are gay."

Those are your words, arn't they Anson the Elder? I mean, I'd hate to think that e-mails are rewriting themselves as they're sent. I would then assume you've had the personal pleasure of being on the receiving end of all the Guardians personal "Mind Probes" in the world eh? I know for sure that your delicate and lily white rear has yet to graze my masculine and throbbing "Mind Scanner" as of yet so I would doubt you have personal experience with the fact that EVERY Guardian is Gay. I mean, I have been known to sleep with four or five men at one time sure, but not all of them are Guardians (quite a number of Silver Ladder and Free Council though. I'm happy to provide a common staff they can grasp in unison!) and certainly I would HOPE that everyone does not view me as THE Representative for my Order. I do have fantastic head shots though...they'd go great on the extended size bumper stickers.

I guess we could do magnets for my face as well, not everyone recognizes me by my specialty scanner :).

At any rate Breeder, I think some of my Order may take offense in being bunched up with other Vaginally-challenged individuals as such as myself. I Mean, I'd HATE to be confused for a chainsaw wielded retarded drunk Monkey (Free Council) or one of those geeky kids we stuffed in lockers in high school or made to eat their own fecal matter in the bathroom (Mysterium) or how about those lame football jocks who spent time with all the other lame jocks bashing beer cans into their foreheads and preforming stupid "guy" tricks involving cars and baseball bats in the crotch (Adamantine Arrow...though I do enjoy shower time! Call me up next training day Payday, pretty please! I'll being the lotion!) or those silly scene kids who consider themselves straight edge and try to force you into their crazy Jesus H. Christ Baptists cults involving singing and denial of the wonders of sex (Hello Silver Ladder!) or my worst of all: A filthy reproducing leech on society Breeder.

Now, I'm POSITIVE that you didn't mean that in a negative stereo type manner. I mean I'd hate to be spreading any horrid rumors and nasty racial and sexual slurs around, wouldn't you? You wouldn't want to be considered intolerant in this day and age? I mean, using racial slurs was SOO 1960's baby, and sexual slurs went out in 2004! Everyone in the fashion world knows this, so I'm SURE as a Fabulous and Fantastic individual as yourself knows that simply calling someone gay in this day and age betrays a hint of childish behavior not seen since...well, High school!

Now, if you're going to be insulting you should do it equally. You shouldn't pick on someone simply because you have a profiled hatred of them. If that were the case, I'd be branding all women who have a period with a big scarlet B on their vest so I can identify who NOT to associate with 5 days out of the month!!

Now that I've officially insulted everyone I can possibly think of, can we all simply go about our business and forget this awe-fullness? I mean, no one on here is really CHILDISH and IMMATURE enough to keep a silly discussion like this going when it simply degrading to name calling, sexual and racial smears, and insulting of personal orders. Gonna call my friend (and cabalmate) The One-Man Brigade a porch monkey? For shame...

If I failed at insulting anyone here (because I want to make sure I was equally insulting and rude to everyone! I'd hate to be considered a bigot after all) please let me know and you to can have your own personalized insult handcrafted by yours truly.

Good Evening y'all.

- Michael Sparkles
Guardian of the Veil
Acanthus
Totally not a Breeder.

If anyone from O-Town is free and able tonight to help me with making transcripts from some audio recordings, I'd greatly appreciate it.

- Chris

OOC: The following is a IC post I feel rather inspired to write. This is from the perspective of my Mage: the Awakening PC named Paladin. None of this is real, fair warning to the mundanes you read this!



Paladin sits up, screaming. It's the first time in many years, the drug abuse years and the following de-tox time was the last he could remember. He threw up his sheet, panting and sweating, and running his hands threw his hair. He looks at his clock on the left, looks to his cross above his door near the foot of his twin bed and finally at the full and unopened jar of Jack Daniels on his nightstand on his left. Growling, Paladin punches the bottle with all the pent up aggression he can muster and shatters it. He winces as he feels the shards of glass break his skin and he watches as the blood starts to flow.

Quiet at first, the sound of Paladins fathers footsteps can be heard running down the hall, then a soft chuckle as he realizes he's still alive. By the time his father manages to run into the room, he's roaring in laughter at the sight of his bleeding hand and whole knees and simply reveling at the signs of life. Paladin lets his father clean his wounds, listens to the chiding while his mind wanders to the dream again...

- - -

Paladin should be dead. He was fading, but Noels voice kept pulling him out. "Your not going to die today Paladin, not today!" Noel kept chanting that, as if it was a lifeline and perhaps it was. The sound of the hordes of undead could be heard echoing down the valley and up the path, all his guns were out of ammo, he lost oen sword and broke another.

OK Paladin, mental checklist. You haven't had your medication in two days. You were injured on Friday night but hid it. That injury led to an infection due to you decreased immune system, and now you have the flu with a minimal white blood cell count and no meds. Numerous cuts and bruises, torn abdominal muscles would explain why it hurts to breathe. That blood in your mouth is from two missing teeth and a broken jaw, your vision on your right side is blurry from your eye being clawed out almost and that numb feeling bellow your knees means that your knees are shattered. Blood loss is over half of totals...why the fuck am I not dead yet!?

Paladin was barely conscious as he was bodily carried back to camp. fading in and out, constantly hearing Noel ("Your not dead yet!") or Mort ("Oh my God, it ripped out my rib from the inside!!") speak gave him something to focus on, to listen to. To hope for. He had to be active for something, there had to be some reason he was still alive. Every heart beat was because he NEEDED to beat, every rattled breath was required because he HAD to.

God needs me. God won't let me fail.

Paladin didn't remember being in triage. He's told he spoke, he's told he screamed and cried out in pain. All he can remember is hearing about Moria. "She's going to miscarry...there's nothing we can do for her." That's what Cloud said. Cloud was so sure nothing could be medically done for her, getting hit in the stomach with a tree going 50 mph will do that of course. But, the key word was medically. Paladin sits up, he can feel he has nothing left yet there is something he must do.

God needs me. God won't let me fail.

Paladin drug his dieing shell into the side room Moria had been given for privacy. She was crying, and in pain. The masters of Life are angry, they could fix this if they only had their Arcana. The masters of Fate are somber, they can do nothing to prevent this turn of events from occurring. The faithful are praying, but even Gypsy seems to be having a crisis in the face of such a horrific event. Paladin shivers, he could feel his body heat fading, could feel his heart struggling but yet he knew he was needed. He asks Moria if she wants him to stop fighting, she says no.

Moria needs me. She will not let me fail.

Paladin writes to Cloud, using a scrap of the bible. He lists he needs his rosary, his vial of holy water and fresh fertile soil. He pulls out the candle from his vest, clumsily making a small tripod from the rosary and sticks, lighting the flame itself with a chapter from Genesis. And God said, let there be Light. And it was good. He pours the dirt out on the floor, drawing the sacred symbols. He blesses them with holy water, blesses Moria, blesses the baby and blesses himself. And he prays. God, do not let me fail Moria or her child. Do not let me fail You, do not let me disturb the divine will. Send me your servant, Gabriel, the divine protector and messenger. Please...

Everyone felt the rush of air from the room. Everyone saw the door quickly slam shut, the lights die except for the single flame burning. Paladin senses the presence of the Divine Will, as the blinding flash sears the vision of everyone in the room. There is no question that something is here with them, and yet no one dares move or breath. For just a brief moment, Paladin feels the touch on his cheek as the Light pressing against his injured skin. With that single touch, he understood the question before him. Gabriel would save me, if I asked. Cured...saved. My body whole, uninjured and at peek. All I have to do is ask. His eyes are wet as he shuts them, he understands his choice. It's one he's made so many times over, but it's never been so apparent as it was right now. He exhales, a tear running down his cheek as he feels himself falling back.

I need me. Do not let me fail.

The Light rushes, and darkness swallows the room once more before the lights flicker on. Moria is fine, but Paladin slips back into the darkness. He awakens sporadically. He can barely focus, his vision is blurred. He remembers Cloud and Ace carrying him back to his cabin, and laying him in bed. Paladin could feel his heart slowing, he felt so very cold. It hurt to breathe, each breath was gurgling with blood. But he didn't fail. He wouldn't let himself fail.

He takes one last breathe, and feels his heart give out.

- - -

Paladin was crying softly, his father holding him and attempting to comfort him. He could never explain to his father why he was upset, or what was bothering him. But, that gentle touch was comforting. It helped him focus, to remember.

I will not fail, not then, not now, not ever. I will not let myself fail.

http://wiki.white-wolf.com/camwiki/index.php?title=Nomad

Here's my favorite quote!

That fireball came out of who???"
~ exclamation of a Changeling in Denver after Nomad used Celestial Fire to attack a Strix.

This is simply because I still feel like a big horrible jerk-face:

Haley, I am sorry for my comment on your LJ. I was in a horrid mood and hungover and dealing with retarded e-mails all morning about crap. I took it completely out of context, and was a complete stupid snarky jerkface to you about something. And even if it was about me, that was an absolutely horrid way to respond to you; immature and rude. It was uncalled for and you didn't deserve it.

So, I'm tossing around the idea of a new Mage PC.

I love Michael Sparkles, don't get me wrong. But...there's just nothing to keep me tied to the PC right now. There's no Global Order Roleplay (it's either stifled on the lists or brushed aside through e-mails), there's no City Order Roleplay (as I am the only one), and I have no DT support from my VST. I can't be a spymaster...with nothing to be told to spy about. I kinda feel like I've wasted 30 + points in Retainers/Contacts/Allies, and I should have just bought magic.

So, I'm tossing around the idea of an Obrimos Good Guy. When I say good guy, I mean total good guy. No shady dealings. NO ulterior motives, no real mean side. Like...like a Paladin. Ya know, I think I;d call him that; Paladin is a good name:). Now, not to say he won't have his faults and issues, those are what make stories. But...he's a good guy who's willing to sacrifice him for others, defend the defenseless, yada yada.

I'm considering the The Choir of Hashmallim Legacy, it seems to work really well with the whole Warrior of God archetype.

So yeah...thoughts?

Oh Self. You're such a whiny, emotional bitch.

So, update on Saturday.

It was basically full of win.

More to come, after work tomorrow, where I take a wonderful 2 days off in a row to relax, veg out with some WoW, and possibly good company (if I feel like driving).

Alright Saturday, listen up.

I need you. Really really badly, I need you to be fantastic. This has been a really rough week for me. Some parts...I deserved it I was the douche. Other parts...I don't think any human being deserves the amount of douche-bagginess dropped on my lap. Add that to family stress, sister health concerns with her pregnancy, random truck stress, my own recent health concern pop up and many of my friends being put through the ringer.

As you can see Saturday, you need to be some kind of wonderful. Good people, good music, good musical moments would be just the ticket. Random dance breaks during songs? Fabulous. Fantastic roleplay when I toss my curveballs out? I'm so eager.

But...just please don't suck Saturday. It's kind of important to me that ya don't :(.

As annual tradition, here is my birthday wishlist of DOOM!! I don't require anyone who reads this to get me something...but I won't say no :-p.

. Punch Out!! (Wii)
. More RAM for computer
. AA Batteries
. AAA Batteries
. new T-Mobile cell phone (G1 perhaps..? Ehh?)
. World of Warcraft Game cards (good for 2 months of play!)
. Bookshelf (or 2...)
. Autumn Nightmares (book)
. Winter Masques (another book)
. Rites of Spring (Gee..noticing a trend?)
. Lords of Summer (yay books!)
. Swordsmen at Dawn (books books books...)
. Grim Fears (good book)
. Mage: The Awakening MET book
. World of Darkness MET book
. Vampire: The Requiem MET book
. Kaki shorts (I need more!)
. Socks
. White tennis shoes
. Ceiling fan
. bottle of Firefly sweet tea vodka
. car radio
. mp3 player
. DVD player
. PS3
. spray can body glitter
. Laptop that runs WoW
. computer desk
. fancy 5 bladed razor
. Starfire 32'-34' Stage Combat Sword
. handlebar mustache (found in most costume stores)
. digital camera
. Couch cover (browns/tans work fine)
. GPS
. ePass for Florida
. Printer Paper
. bottle of Sailor Jerry
. deck of cards
. Mage:The Awakening Tarot Deck
. #2 pencils
. Pens
. Pencil Sharpener
. Small wastebasket for bedroom
. Dungeon Master Handbook for DnD 4.0
. DnD 4.0 Minatures
. Tile map for DnD
. pillows
. gas
. Dark Embrace T-Shirts! ( Everything I needed to know, Must be orlando, Warning: Storyteller, VST pain/pleasure - http://minxlette.spreadshirt.com/us/US/Shop/)
. leather duster
. cowboy hat
. pink lemonade Crystal Light
. gallon of water
. seasonal passes to Universal Studios/Islands of Adventure
. car air freshener
. new microphone for computer.

So, I'm running Lost this Saturday. My second game!! Yay. First one was a little hectic, but I should have a much better handle on it all this time. Unless 8 people form Tampa roll in again, then I dunno what craziness will occur!

So far planned, I have:

1) Fun with real world issues ("Umm, we have no record of your child")
2) Happy combat fun time ( Show off those mad sheet skillz *flex*)
3) Lessons on rocks and hard places ( Careful with your Pledges!)
4) Awesome social drama time ( No work needed from me, that's all PC driven folks)
5) Testing out new aVST (*prays*)
6) Wineberry Blush! (Mmm, it's anti-derangement-ie!)

Should be a blast. If anyone has something they wanna see this weekend, they should try and add it to the list :D

Today has been a rough day, even though it just began!

. Slept like shit
. No eggs for breakfast
. Out of rum
. Out of laundry detergent

On top of that, I had to do something involving Game that I had hoped I could put off for quite a while. Turns out, I could not. Oh boy, let the drama lama fallout begin shortly.

Julius Caesar said it best. "The die is cast."

I recently made the move down to Orlando, specifically Deltona. Look me up yo!

So, I'm rolling up a new WoW PC. Alliance, Night Elf Druid on DragonBlight.

Just sayin'

( Michael Sparkles )

These are 2 posts I put on the group camchar, hope you enjoy :)
n this type of prompt, you'll be given a word to inspire your response.

Spark Word:
Naughty 

The howl echoed through the valley, one full of desire and a primal need to breed. The female sniffed the air, she could smell the scent of the male close behind but she was not yet ready to allow him an easy victory. Loping through the woods almost as graceful as a deer, she stepped onto root and rock to avoid even leaving a footprint for him to follow. She ran across a small creek as she made her way to the center of the valley, panting with the effort of resisting her natural urges to submit.

The male had given his howl, and simply waited, cocking on long ear towards the direction of the fleeing female. She was in heat, he could smell as such and that's why he had fought five other males to breed with her. A strange growth of headfur seemed to shroud over his eyes, it tricked the other males into thinking he could not see them. They were very wrong. Licking the last bit of blood from his maw, he slowly trots along the edges of the valley, moving faster and faster to circle around. He could taste her already.

The female growled, she could hear the male giving chase but instinct would not allow her to pause until he proved he could catch her. He, some strange red wolf from another territory, came in suddenly during the mating time. The other males thought they could take him on, but they were quickly mistaken. She was unsure how he could have beaten 5 challengers in a row, she had caught glimpses of what lay behind the hair and was all the more impressed with his strength. Pausing to drink from the creek as it bent back around, she hesitated a moment to late as she felt him slide next to her.

He had watched this territory for days, waiting to lay claim to it. Taking the Alpha Female during her breeding time would be best. Maybe this time. He could secure the loyalty of the whole pack if he made her his mate. Turning on a dime he twists his body and leaps, his fur bristling as his paws land on a tree. Before gravity can begin to affect him, he bounces to another tree, then another, sliding down and running between branches and trunks to gain a terrain advantage over the speedy female. As he reaches her she finally pauses to drink. Snarling in triumph, he allows himself to slide down a trunk, skidding to a stop right next to her.

She froze. How on earth had he managed to catch her this quickly she had no idea, but there he was. All muscle, all teeth, all predator. She bristled her fur, to make herself larger, but he wouldn't have any of it. He gave almost a grin before pouncing ontop of her, wrestling and writhing around her as they both fought: one to claim the other to keep Independence. The male had a weight advantage the female did not however, which quickly led to her submission with his teeth at her throat.

Satisfied that she would not cause too much more issue, the male released her throat with a nip and a threatening growl. She meekly submitted to him, her ears flattening as she accepted the new Alpha. Howling in triumph, he Quickly moves to claim his prize. With an ease of movement that surprises the older female (He didn't seem that old to be that experienced) he is quickly atop her. His hips lock into place around her to hold her still as he thrusts forward, burying himself inside of the female. Biting down on her neck, the new Alpha couple begin a ritual that lasts until the cresent moon fades to the dawn of a new day.

                                                                    *     *     * 

Braden quickly scrambles into the house through his usual entry of the living room window, dusting himself off and straightening his blindfold. He could hear the usual arguments and discussions, the ones he was late to nearly every morning. There was always bacon left over though...he needed all the protean he could get.

1) Stupid customers who ask for hand tossed pizza, then complain when I have to touch it with my hands.
2) Stupid roommates who forget to eat banana's then let them go bad then let them rot then forget to throw them out so rot juice is all over the counters.
3) Stupid stupid Jimmy Green.
4) Stupid abrasions on knees that take longer to heal because the scabs keep cracking and bursting when I bend my knees (aka walk, sit, sleep)
5) Stupid people e-mailing me and asking if I wanna buy something of theirs, when they know I am le broke.
6) Stupid WoW for making me wait till Tuesday night after the patch to complete the Fire Festival
7) Stupid Facebook for making me unable to type any goddamn messages while someone sends me a fuckin' IM over their system!
8) Stupid Stupid Iran.
9) Stupid applications taking way too long goddammit.
10) Stupid assholes at work trying to frame me for stealing cash.

This is a question for all the peeps on my LJ who play Mage: The Awakening and know of my character Michael Sparkles:

Do you think it unreasonable, against Genre or impossible for me to get 1 dot of false status in all the other Orders for Michael Sparkles?

Discuss